( kazuya is in the unique position to know this—he’s the only person that makoto has really allowed himself to feed from since arriving here, too wary or hesitant to do much more than an aggressive bite to those humans (or more human-adjacent) that had picked up on the shape of his desires and had tried to offer themselves instead. in a way, kazuya had given him something he’d never quite had before; sure, he might have torn a demon in half once, but there is something far more viscerally appealing to tearing into someone’s throat with your teeth, in feeling the fight-or-flight struggle of muscles and nerves firing off in a near-involuntary state, in the slow and steady ebb of strength as blood fled the body through such a ragged and seemingly-mortal wound. it’s something he had only allowed himself because kazuya had promised, and because he’s aware of the other young man’s power given to him as being the king of demons. he would have denied himself it were anything less, too afraid of the outcome, both for his friend’s life and the fragile construction of his own principled morality.
the urge to reject what his friend said is still there, but it’s quieter. there’s too much pressure of evidence to prove contrary. in a way, it feels nice to be acknowledged, to have someone see and recognize how much effort he put into trying to be… not even “good,” but just not actively “bad.” in another, it felt wretched; one shouldn’t have to try so hard, right? isn’t this something that comes naturally to most people?
he’s quiet for a long minute, looking down at his half-eaten plate of food without really seeing it. then he speaks up in a subdued voice, ) …Thank you. For saying that.
( makoto glances up at kazuya as the other demon continues, the moroseness of his expression fading as confusion replaces it. ) Really? ( he hasn’t really viewed this place as very… conflict-heavy? sure, some people go to Talon or otherwise to spar and fight, but he hasn’t really seen people do so with intent to injure or kill since he’s arrived here. )
…Did he deserve it?
( the most important question, of course.
he’s quiet for a moment longer, considering, before he also adds, ) If it’s alright that I stop myself just because I don’t want to prove the people I grew up around correct, then… I don’t think it could be wrong that you do the same because you think your friends would be upset. ( a beat. ) Maybe the reason doesn’t matter. Not as much as what you do, or don’t do.
no subject
the urge to reject what his friend said is still there, but it’s quieter. there’s too much pressure of evidence to prove contrary. in a way, it feels nice to be acknowledged, to have someone see and recognize how much effort he put into trying to be… not even “good,” but just not actively “bad.” in another, it felt wretched; one shouldn’t have to try so hard, right? isn’t this something that comes naturally to most people?
he’s quiet for a long minute, looking down at his half-eaten plate of food without really seeing it. then he speaks up in a subdued voice, ) …Thank you. For saying that.
( makoto glances up at kazuya as the other demon continues, the moroseness of his expression fading as confusion replaces it. ) Really? ( he hasn’t really viewed this place as very… conflict-heavy? sure, some people go to Talon or otherwise to spar and fight, but he hasn’t really seen people do so with intent to injure or kill since he’s arrived here. )
…Did he deserve it?
( the most important question, of course.
he’s quiet for a moment longer, considering, before he also adds, ) If it’s alright that I stop myself just because I don’t want to prove the people I grew up around correct, then… I don’t think it could be wrong that you do the same because you think your friends would be upset. ( a beat. ) Maybe the reason doesn’t matter. Not as much as what you do, or don’t do.