( The more Esikko watches and listens to Makoto, the more the tension builds in his chest, the more it aches, the more he feels like he has to say something, to do something to be able to relieve it even a bit. It's overly powerful, something that might have nagged at him normally is now so overwhelmingly distracting that it almost feels difficult to breathe. His fingers scratch idly at the heart rashes scattered over his wrist, beneath his sleeve, and his gaze dips down as he considers how to approach this.
Because he feels like he wants to help, for some god awful reason he can't explain. It's not that he ever disliked Makoto, of course— he found him amusing, cute, fun. But care is something different, and he's not sure when that had started. Something that had been so impossible for him to grasp in prior years and lives was now flooding his every sense, causing his heart to beat loud in his own ears.
It feels familiar just enough. That Makoto struggles with some aspect of himself, that he wants to avoid it but feels like he can't, and that he can't think of the one thing that comes so clearly to Esikko right now— )
Facing it head on doesn't mean embracing the actions. Rather, I mean... Instead of avoiding it and hiding from it, perhaps you should talk about it to those who care about you.
( He forces his hands to still from their fidgeting, a tense grip replacing the movement. )
This isn't my first life. Not my second or third or anything close. I've been using my magic to start from the beginning time and time again. So, I suppose I'm trying to say... that this is something I've only recently learned.
no subject
Because he feels like he wants to help, for some god awful reason he can't explain. It's not that he ever disliked Makoto, of course— he found him amusing, cute, fun. But care is something different, and he's not sure when that had started. Something that had been so impossible for him to grasp in prior years and lives was now flooding his every sense, causing his heart to beat loud in his own ears.
It feels familiar just enough. That Makoto struggles with some aspect of himself, that he wants to avoid it but feels like he can't, and that he can't think of the one thing that comes so clearly to Esikko right now— )
Facing it head on doesn't mean embracing the actions. Rather, I mean... Instead of avoiding it and hiding from it, perhaps you should talk about it to those who care about you.
( He forces his hands to still from their fidgeting, a tense grip replacing the movement. )
This isn't my first life. Not my second or third or anything close. I've been using my magic to start from the beginning time and time again. So, I suppose I'm trying to say... that this is something I've only recently learned.